Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth.. http://tfl.nu/cpmo
  Replies (37) Good night (7162) Bad night (1915) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed. http://tfl.nu/1iir
  Replies (31) Good night (773) Bad night (6935)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar. http://tfl.nu/rj0l
  Replies (13) Good night (1016) Bad night (3705) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot. http://tfl.nu/n3sv
  Replies (7) Good night (3874) Bad night (807) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning. http://tfl.nu/v1az
  Replies (9) Good night (3441) Bad night (1313) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it. http://tfl.nu/c4xp
  Replies (5) Good night (2279) Bad night (755) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out. http://tfl.nu/ejyb
  Replies (4) Good night (757) Bad night (1338) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro http://tfl.nu/tuhp
  Replies (9) Good night (1467) Bad night (397) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms. http://tfl.nu/079r
  Replies (31) Good night (2752) Bad night (429) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday. http://tfl.nu/eqk0
  Replies (4) Good night (842) Bad night (519)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom. http://tfl.nu/k57f
  Replies (6) Good night (787) Bad night (497) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?

  (1-901): View more from Tennessee

  Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood? (1-901): Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine. http://tfl.nu/uq9s
  Replies (3) Good night (1613) Bad night (339) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before! http://tfl.nu/id35
  Replies (10) Good night (1337) Bad night (295) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (218): His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely. http://tfl.nu/zmgf
  Replies (5) Good night (724) Bad night (241) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (574): I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night. http://tfl.nu/m1lp
  Replies (7) Good night (1099) Bad night (147) Order T-Shirt

Randomize