no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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