I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
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So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
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Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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