Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize