On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
People with herpes should wear stickers.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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