Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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