Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Holy sore nipples Batman
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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