about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
It's just like the Real World with babies
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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