What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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