you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize