And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
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I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
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What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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