my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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