u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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