So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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