so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
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well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
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Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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