remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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