just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
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