Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
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i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
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It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I lost the right to judge tonight
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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