My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize