Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
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There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
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They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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