4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize