I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize