yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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