Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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