i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
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We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
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I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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