why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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