i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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