PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize