at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize