you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize