Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize