yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize