if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Randomize