Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.

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(402): Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES. http://tfl.nu/mubn

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(708): View more from Illinois

i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!

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(708): i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES! http://tfl.nu/1ytt

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(757): View more from Virginia

this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial

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(757): this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial http://tfl.nu/3bm0

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(985): View more from Louisiana

I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea

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(985): I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea http://tfl.nu/2rdl

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(253): View more from Washington

Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.

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(253): Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away. http://tfl.nu/2pvy

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(330): View more from Ohio

When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...

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(330): When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward... http://tfl.nu/3xfe

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(604): View more from British Columbia

5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.

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(604): 5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real. http://tfl.nu/vlat

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(917): View more from New York City

He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now

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(917): He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now http://tfl.nu/4db9

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(876): View more from Jamaica

After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone

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(876): After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone http://tfl.nu/ammv

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.

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(617): gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist. http://tfl.nu/2uj6

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(623): View more from Arizona

I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt

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(623): I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt http://tfl.nu/6d18

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.

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(717): Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake. http://tfl.nu/07i4

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(602): View more from Arizona

By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm

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(602): By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm http://tfl.nu/w681

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(519): View more from Ontario

Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.

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(519): Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar. http://tfl.nu/0nuz

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(541): View more from Oregon

I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it

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(541): I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it http://tfl.nu/0g6v

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