im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize