think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
This baby is an asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize