Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
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