I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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