we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
All I want is dick and wine.
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