Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
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in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
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Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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