ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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