I think im going to throw up on grandma
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize