I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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