i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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