JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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