If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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