do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
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look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
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A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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