my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
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Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
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It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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