...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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