I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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